Always close
by kind.of.a.writer
Summary: After May dies during a mission nobody knows what to do and the war against HYDRA seems more impossible than ever now that she's gone... But is she really gone? Did she really die, or is it a plan to make Phil believe she's dead? And why would she do that? Does it have anything to do with the Avengers? Terrible summary, but please give it a shot! Philinda


I'm back guuys! I know I haven't been around in such a long time. I wrote more about it at the end of the chapter, if you read it it would mean a lot. I hope you like this new story!

* * *

They ran through the beach freely, laughing as if they were kids again, jumping on the rocks and falling onto the sun as he tried to catch her.

"Got you!" he exclaimed when he was finally able to get her.

"You do understand that I know like twenty four ways of kicking your ass in this exact moment, right?" she asked, chuckling as she tried to liberate herself from the grip of his strong arms.

"I know" he acknowledged. "Maybe you know thirty seven, but you won't try any of them on me"

"You wanna bet?"

May flipped him over with a quick move. Still with a smile on his face, he fell to the ground, but not for anything he was the best field agent of his class and he managed to take her with him in his way down. They started one of their usual childish fights, not stopping laughing for a second. Anyway, none of them was really struggling or giving their best, so it wasn't so long before he ended up on top of her with one knee at each side of her waist to lean his weight on them and not her, holding her arms to the sand to immobilize her.

"This is not fair" she scoffed. "You just won because you're heavier than I am"

Coulson didn't say anything. He fixed a strand of hair behind her ear, just staring at her.

He looked at her the way all women want to be looked at by a man.

He was so close to her face that if he lowered his head just a bit he would kiss her. And, for the very first time since they had met years ago at the Academy, he realized that he wanted to do so. Coulson looked at her in the eye, but her beautiful brown eyes were as calmed as usual, unreadable and mysterious.

"Maybe we should go" she whispered without a blink.

Without saying anything he realized that he had lost his opportunity. He stood up and stretched out a hand to help her stand. May took it and she stood, holding his hand just two seconds more than it was strictly necessary. She turned around and walked a few meters away, in the direction of the ocean.

"Where are you going?" he asked. "I thought you wanted to leave"

She started to walk backwards to be able to look at him. "I said that maybe we should go, but it doesn't mean I actually want to" she said with a smile.

Coulson smiled back and followed her. They walked down the beach until their feet met the subtle waves that reached the shore.

"We can't leave here without getting one last swim" she said, looking at the horizon.

"We don't have our swimsuits here" Coulson noticed.

She rolled her eyes. "Who needs a swimsuit?"

Before he could stop her May ran into the ocean, jumping on the water. She was wearing just a simple black summer dress that fitted her very well; her sandals were at the rocks and her sweater at the hotel. That was one of his favorite parts of her, he thought, how free she seemed to feel all the time.

Coulson didn't think it twice. He followed her and when the water reached her hips they stopped and took a few seconds to catch their breaths.

"I really don't want to leave this place" she muttered, resting her head against his shoulder.

"Yeah, neither do I" said Coulson. He put an arm around her back to pull her closer. "It's a magical place"

They stayed like that, contemplating the sunset, for what could have been either two hours or ten seconds. The time passed and the sky turned from a bright yellowish orange to a crimson red, which reflected on the turquoise-colored sea created a surreal atmosphere around them. It wasn't a normal mission; it was as if they were completely on their own in that dreamlike Greek beach, with no one to break their perfect moment in five hundred miles around.

"May?" he suddenly said.

"Uh-hum?"

"I'm about to turn twenty seven"

"I know" she said, rolling her eyes. "I'm your best friend"

"I know that. It's just that… We probably won't be a team anymore"

She turned her face around to look at him. "Why do you say that? We've been working together ever since we graduated, Phil"

"Yes, but… I don't know. Most teams formed by just two agents get disintegrated after a couple of years"

"So?" replied May. "We'll join a bigger team"

"But what if we don't? I'm a field agent, you're a specialist. We're not supposed to be partners"

"But we are" she said. "Come on, Phil. Fury knows how we work together, he'll never separate us into different teams. We'll probably join Maria's team"

"It's crazy how she already has her own squad" said Coulson, trying to change the subject.

"I know, right?" asked May. "Just yesterday she was our rookie. We did one hell of a job with her…. And don't worry, Phillip," she added with a smile, "you won't be that lucky. I'll always be close"

Coulson blinked again, and suddenly the Greek beach was no longer around him but on his own mind and on the photograph he was holding in his hand. He looked at it again. It had been taking that exact same day when he had told her his worries about them getting separated. May and himself were standing on the sand, hugging each other by the arms, smiling at the camera. So many years had passed since that day, he thought, and even more things had changed.

He sighed and put the picture on the desk. It was just too painful to look at them and remember the thousands of memories they had created together. It hadn't been intentional, though. He had found the picture in between some old books he had been reading in order to distract his mind from her. It was impossible.

He wondered if everyone feels like that by losing a best friend. It was like dialing a phone number that doesn't really exist; no matter how many times he called her name he just couldn't contact her.

Ever since Bahrain he had promised himself he would take care of May. He would never tell her that, of course, for he didn't want to receive a punch on his nose. But it was the truth. May was caged, trapped by her own memories. He had sworn he would protect her… and he had failed miserably.

Melinda May was dead.

And he didn't want to accept it.

It had all happened so fast. They were on a mission and suddenly everything had gone out of control. HYDRA had kidnapped May's plane and was asking for S.H.I.E.L.D information in exchange for her liberation. He was willing to tell them everything, of course, but May had realized that and crashed the plane into the ocean, killing her and other HYDRA guys. Her last words had been "I'm sorry"

Everyone in the team was destroyed, especially the original members. Fitz and Simmons rarely left the lab, Mack didn't make any more pranks and Hunter and Bobbi hadn't had one single fight. Skye was the one he felt the most worried about, though. She hadn't said a word since they had returned to the Playground and spent all her free time in the gym, most of the times just sitting there and staring at the wall. He had found her crying there at three on the morning. He had stayed with her, they had cried together, and then ignored each other for the next twenty four hours.

If he had to be completely honest, Coulson was kind of jealous of her. All he wanted to do was to hide in his office and mourn her death, or better yet just run away and tell S.H.I.E.L.D, HYDRA and the rest of the world to f*ck off. He didn't want to talk to anyone; he didn't want to explain or try to understand why he felt that agonic pain all day long, he wanted to not say a word ever again.

He couldn't, of course, because he had responsibilities and a team to look after… But who looked after him? May was the one who had his backs, and he had always had hers. They were partners; they weren't supposed to be apart. He imagined what she would have done, she would have probably rolled her eyes and say "you're the one who's supposed to talk" Such a simple phrase with such a huge meaning.

Had it been like that for her when he had died? A shiver ran down his back at that possibility.

"Where are you?" he asked out loud.

Silence was his only answer.

* * *

Yeah, it wasn' t a good chapter. I'm sorry, but I promise the next ones will be way better! I'll explain more about May's "death" later on, and of course I'll add a deeper perspective of Coulson's pain. Give the story a shot!

I'm sorry I left all my stories unfinished, I went through some very dark months and didn't feel like writing anymore. But then I saw all your support and now that I'm better I decided to stay, so I'll probably be posting a lot now. I love you guys!


End file.
